Please do not ask the why or the wherefore except in that this idea comes completely and solely from the place I came from pre-LJ: Otherwise known as "Rhy'Din".
Now, in Rhy'Din, certain things have developed, including the merciless, murdering assault of the English thesaurus on one end of the spectrum. Or, on the other end, netspeak so thick your twelve year old can't even understand what he or she just typed out.

I come to you, Trans Niners with a small challenge of complete and utter amusement. (Although your creations/characters might want to kill me repeatedly).

The challenge: Describe your character in the ABSOLUTE PURPLEST OF PURPLE PROSE SO AS TO MAKE CHARLES DICKENS SQUIRM IN HIS GRAVE way possible. And then mock each other.

Friendly, of course; this is not intended as a flame war.

If anyone needs or desires an example, I shall gladly provide one.