I can't remember ever thinking about that, but I have a feeling she probably tried to convince herself that she loved him Like That. She didn't, but I think she probably wanted to because she knew their arranged marriage was supposed to be a symbol and of course she always wants people to be happy. I think she probably knew deep down she wasn't exactly in love with Athrun, but she probably thought it would be selfish to do anything about it. Until shit hit the fan and she fell in love with someone else for reals, anyway.