"You know, I said I wanted to take it easy this time, but I think I've spent well over half the filming lying in a hospital bed. Greg-- no, you're right, after the broken collarbone I needed to take a more laid-back role, but--"

The star of such blockbuster action films as Zombie Rugby, Undead Orchestra Massacre, Killathon, The Bloodletting, and The Bloodletting 2: The Bloodlettingyer was on the phone with his agent after the fifth consecutive scene in which he spent the whole time glaring at a wall with his arms crossed.

"And come on, Greg, nobody's buying the teenager thing. I'm 24 years old. I've got broader shoulders than a linebacker. How is this-- Goddammit, Greg, don't you dare start crying again! Stop. Just-- no, Greg, stop hitting your head against the wall. Okay, you know what? I'm gonna call you back when you're ready to act like a professional."

Steve hung up the phone, shaking his head in disgust. At that moment, an intern walked by and handed him an updated copy of the script with a few pages dog-eared. He opened them up and scanned over the changes, then let out a frustrated groan.

"What do you mean the double chainsaw fight's been cut? Goddammit!"