Because I am the Law

[governmentninja]

While futzing around in chat, we came up with some New Rules, meatshippers. Read them and obey, or Leon will shoot you.


01. No civil wars.
02. Learn when to shut up.
03. You are not the boss. Unless you are. And you probably aren't.
-Captain Picard can punch a RAPTOR. This is why he's the leader.
04. No pissing things off when you don't know what they are."
05. No matter how good you think you are, odds are, the person you're mouthing off to can still kick your ass.
06. Especially if they've been around longer than you have.
-And odds are they have.
07. If it's a shiny unknown object, FOR THE LOVE OF STACY DON'T TOUCH IT. Especially if it's any sort of large button.
-Definitely do NOT touch the red button
08. If you find a weapon that you do not know how to fire, do not mess with it. For all our sanities and lives sakes.
09. Don't go around desecrating the churches in front of Daimon
10. Or the MacManus Twins.
11. Daimon, stop being a dick
12. Leon will take your stuff away if you break any of these rules.
13. Yes, they probably ARE who you think they are. Stop gawping.
14. About the Leon thing? Dead serious.
14: Don't fuck the Bene Gesserits. This is for your own safety
16. Honestly it's just easier if you don't try to fuck anyone while one the ship.
-No, Stacy does not care that you need to get laid
17. ...crap, I didn't think you'd actually read this far.
18. Hey, where did 15 go?
19. Consider all things posted on the omnicoms as potentially hackable.
-This also applies to the rules.
15. here I am!
20. Fuck with the rules and you will be permab&
-Disregard this I suck cocks
21. 15! You're out of order!
22. Jack Spicer is not allowed to edit posts. Ever.
23. Brainiac Five is a dick. It's...probably not personal.
24 If she's hot, odds are she's taken. This also applies to men.
25. But don't let that stop you trying.
26. Death is permanent. Plan accordingly.
27. Unless you're Jaime.
28. Jaime never dies.
29. Trying to have sex in some random corner of the meatship will get you beaten down by tentacles.
30. Trying to have sex in some random corner of the city will get you shot.
31. No masturbating either
32. Yes. This sucks.
-Deal with it.
33. Trying to get laid on some alien planet will get you Space-AIDs.
-Unless you're Captain Kirk.
-Then you just get space herpes.
34. Yes, there is porn of it.
35. Be a hero. Loudly. Somewhere near Leon.
-And if you started young, tell him that, too.
36. Tell Batman he's dead. He won't mind, honest.
37. If you're a robot, expect Cassie Lang to hump your leg.

Comments

[crusades]

I think we need to add:

00: Everything for Glory.

It is the prime directive.

[staturity]

37. If you're a robot, expect Cassie Lang to hump your leg.

Hey! That is totally ridiculous! I wouldn't waste my time humping their leg!

[itsmynamenow.livejournal.com]

36. Tell Batman he's dead. He won't mind, honest.

Say what? Since when am I dead?

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

14: Don't fuck the Bene Gesserits. This is for your own safety

Is that really necessary?

[birthmural]

Yes.

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

Isn't coveting just as much a sin?

[birthmural]

You give yourself far too much credit.

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

You think you can hide it from me? I'm no telepath but I can smell your desires.

[birthmural]

I would not debase myself with one such as you.

[worm-dancer.livejournal.com]

Even your savior had his Mary of Magdelena.

But if you'd prefer your sister to kiss, who am I to stop you?

[birthmural]

You are mistaken.

[letmelive]

I'm just gonna ignore rule 7.

[mammalrobot.livejournal.com]

...

[staturity]

...


......

Hi.

[mammalrobot.livejournal.com]

I'm on to you, missy.

[governmentninja]

Now I'll have to figure out how to evacuate the ship in less than three minutes.

[in-venting.livejournal.com]

Can I ignore rule 7?

[letmelive]

You know, sometimes good things happen when I press random buttons.

...Not often, but it's happened before.

[letmelive]

Absolutely, sweetie.

[in-venting.livejournal.com]

...Awesome.

[governmentninja]

Name one.

[letmelive]

....

My cellphone only broke once, and I never had any idea what I was doing when I was trying to access the functions besides the 'phone' part?

[governmentninja]

Uh huh.

[letmelive]

Shut up.

[governmentninja]

Haven't said a word.

[letmelive]

Yeah but you're thinking so loud you don't have to.

[governmentninja]

And what am I thinking?

[prettycoolguy]

I can help. We can have drills.

[letmelive]

...Either that I'm full of crap or that I'm cute when I'm annoyed with you. It's kind of hard to tell sometimes, with that face of yours.

[governmentninja]

That's cause its both.

[hatngartersnake.livejournal.com]

23. Brainiac Five is a dick. It's...probably not personal.

It really isn't.

[letmelive]

I figured that was also an option.

[el-escarabajo.livejournal.com]

I've only fake-died twice. And the first time I sort of real-died because my heart stopped.

[flunkingspanish.livejournal.com]

*WHAP*

Stop fake dying!

[in-venting.livejournal.com]

You should stop making a habit of that.


You know, for Yuri's sake.

[flunkingspanish.livejournal.com]

Hey, we don't KNOW that we'd get Space-AIDS! We've only been on one planet so far, and no one had sex with anything there!

(Unless that's why all the space zoo animals started coming after us. In which case, someone needs to come clean so that the rest of us can, I don't know, spray them with disinfectant.)

[vision-ya.livejournal.com]

sighs

[If she tries anything, just...spray her with water and call me.]

[governmentninja]

I can multitask like that.

[standaloneshell.livejournal.com]

14: Don't fuck the Bene Gesserits. This is for your own safety

Really. I think I can take care of myself.