insertmeathere | And if wishes were horses we'd all be eatin' steak.

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And if wishes were horses we'd all be eatin' steak.

the
❝ I ☆ WISH ❞
meme

★ Post with your character. Do not have them wish!
★ Respond to other peoples' characters with your own.
At any point during the resulting conversation, they must make a wish pertaining to that character
For example; such as "I wish you would kiss me", or "I wish you would dance naked".
★ The magic words are 'I wish'. As soon as those words are spoken, it will happen, whether the person wishes it or not
★ SHENANIGANS AND FUN ENSUE

★ stolen from musebawks

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[ Turns toward Jamie's voice, frowning in his general direction. ]

Jamie, you can't even pass a Grade 3 nuclear physics test.

[And Jamie is going to frown right back.]

Aye, maybe so, but I'm telling ye, I know the difference.

[He launches into a long, complicated explanation of not only the differences between the two, but also how the twiddle is better utilized in certain circumstances - such as the one in which they find themselves.]

...so if ye tell me where you've gone and put the spare tube, we'll just see about getting that fixed, yes?

Since when? If you twiddled when you should have twaddled, you could easily take your head off! Or eyebrows. Maybe those.

[ The Doctor listens, stunned, because the way Jamie talks is too confident to be simply repeating back what he may have heard.]

...What? Oh...oh! Yeah. It should be near the library but...

[ He'd be staring, boggled, at Jamie, if he was only pointed in the right direction. The Doctor starts to push himself to his feet. ]

[He'll be quite happy to help point the Doctor in the direction of the library, at least, and help him along as well. Jamie may now know the difference between the two, but he still doesn't know what the tube itself looks like, and he has an idea that might be rather important.]

But what, Doctor?

But you're not supposed to know the difference between a twiddle and a twaddle, Jamie.

Something's odd. Aside from the Bratlett blowing like that.

Hey! Who's to say I've not learned it since I woke up here?

Although...it was a wee bit odd the way it popped up in my head like that.

[ Because the Doctor tends to be distracted when he's blinded, baffled by Jamie's sudden prowess, and there's the Bratlett gearing up for another go, he's a bit snippy.]

Who's to say? Jamie, I've seen your work in Engineering. You were still learning the very basics of twiddling.

Okay, so! Door to the library. Which way?

[Jamie shoots the Doctor a rather cranky look in return - even though he's fairly sure the Doctor won't notice at the moment - and mutters under his breath.] I wish you'd give me more credit sometimes.

[Still, he leads the Doctor towards the door to the library.] It's this way, Doctor.

What's that? I give you plenty of credit. [Equally grumbly. Time Lord hearing: it's a curse. ]

[ The Doctor lets Jamie lead him to the door: blind or not, he at least knows his own TARDIS not to go tripping on the trunk he left smack in the middle of the corridor yesterday. The Doctor steps over it, hand on Jamie's elbow. ]

The Bratlett tube is about this big. [ He makes a general guestimate with his hands, although it's questionable how accurate that is right now, given his current condition.] Should be under my favorite chair.

Och. [Someday, maybe, Jamie will remember that and keep his mouth shut. For now, he also steps over the chest, as going around would mean he'd have to move away from the Doctor - and he thinks now's not the best time for that.]

Aye, should be easy to find something that size, at least.

[Of course, once they get to the library, it's another story. He finds the chair easily enough, but there's a box nearly full of tubes stashed underneath it. Jamie looks down at it in dismay.]

How many of those things do ye have in there, anyway?

[ The Doctor tilts his head, listening to the sound of Jamie dragging out the box of stuff. ]

Not sure. Been awhile since I bothered to keep count.

[ Following the sounds of the scraping, the Doctor starts to awkwardly kneel, figuring Jamie might need help. ]

[Jamie kneels down as well, starting to dig through the tubes, trying to find the one in question.]

Hey, it's not these smaller ones, right?

[ The Doctor frowns, feeling about the tubes. Despite being effectively blinded, he's still much more accurate with the tubes than Jamie, sorting through them almost arbitrarily. ]

No, that one has a little bobble on the side. At least we've established you can't identify bobbles. Yet.

[Jamie runs his fingers over the tube again, and sure enough, there's something there - although he could have sworn it didn't have any of these bobble-things before. He sets it aside, and continues to sort as well.]

Is there something on it I should be looking for, Doctor?

Small tube with etching in it. You might need a microscope to see it with your eyes. [ Matter-of-factly. ]

[Of course he would.] I don't suppose you've found the laboratory again so I could go get one, then?

[He's clearly expecting the answer to be 'no', anyway.]

[ And this time Jamie is right, the Doctor's mouth twisting down in annoyance. ]

No. Not yet, anyway. I was going to, things just kept adding up and here we are.

Oh, aye. Of course. [Resignedly, Jamie starts going through the tubes again.]

Oh, what's the use? We'll never find it in time. I wish you could come up with some clever way to find this easier, Doctor.

[ The Doctor stiffens for a moment, just like Jamie had reacted to "I wish" earlier. ]

I'm surprised you didn't think to try sneezing on it. A sneeze is the perfect frequence to make a Bratlett hum, you know. It's all in the tubing.

[He just barely catches the motion out of the corner of his eye, but by the time Jamie turns to look, the Doctor's going on about sneezes, of all things.]

That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, Doctor.

[There are times when Jamie wonders when exactly when it was the Doctor first went daft, and this is one of those. Still, looking at the box, he really can't come up with a better plan. With a resigned sigh, he tries to sneeze on the box, only to find that it's not really something he can simply do.]

How am I supposed to make myself sneeze when I've no need to?

[ If the Doctor wasn't quite so blinded by the blown Bratlett, he'd be giving Jamie a Look.]

Ridiculous? It's perfectly sane, it's not my fault you didn't think of the obvious solution.

No allergies? Because by my reckoning we don't have a lot of time for you to get lucky.

Not unless ye happen to have some of that toxic gas from those weed creatures that we fought the one time.

[That would make him sneeze quite easily. Then again, it's probably for the best that there isn't actually one currently aboard the TARDIS. Without Victoria to scream, they might not be able to stop it this time. No, Jamie will just have to think of something else.]

Hmm.

[A quick glance around shows nothing he could easily use to make himself sneeze, unless he wanted to try the fireplace ashes. So Jamie does the only other thing he can think of that might work, plucking out one of his nose hairs with a sharp yank.]

Ah...ah...ACHOO!

[Right on the box of tubes. And sure enough, one of them starts to hum. Jamie grabs it before it can stop.]

I've got it! Come on, Doctor, let's go.

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And if wishes were horses we'd all be eatin' steak.

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