Banking Overlord Zetta and his loyal minions Nanashi, Starfire, Ruffnut, and Alex depart in May, 1848, with 4 yoke of oxen, 1500 lbs of food, 14 sets of clothing (2 of which are just dusk jackets, I assume), 20 boxes of ammo, and 3 spare parts of everything.

GO, BADASS FREAKIN' OVERLORD!

May 4th: Reached the Kansas River crossing.
May 14th: Reached the Big Blue River crossing. Wet supplies cost them a day.
May 19th: Arrived at Fort Kearney.
May 24th: Alex has a snakebite.
May 28th: A broken wagon tongue. Zetta attempts to fix it by yelling at it. This fails. They replace it with a spare.
May 20th: Arrival at Chimney Rock.
May 31st: One of the oxen is injured.
June 17th: Ruffnut has measles.
June 20th: Zetta guns down a buffalo.
June 22nd: South Pass reached.
June 28th: Ruffnut has a snakebite. Stop playing with snakes, guys! Zetta attempts to take vengeance, but slays a bear by accident.
July 1st: Very little water. Hey, it's hot! Fort Bridger reached. Alex apparently drank the wrong water, as he has dysentry. Zetta disappears for a while, then comes back with 2 sets of clothes he claims came from an "abandoned" wagon.
July 2nd: Alex has died.
July 3rd: Starfire has a fever. Possibly due to guilt.
July 7th: Inadequate grass. A thief steals two frickin' OXEN during the night.
July 11th: Starfire has died. :(
July 12th: Soda Springs reached. Zetta spends five days burning it to the ground as a pyre.
July 20th: Fort Hall reached.
July 24th: A wild fruit appears! Congratulations! You have captured wild fruit!
July 25th: An ox wanders off. Three days spent looking for it.
August 3rd: An actual abandoned wagon with one set of clothing found. Zetta is as surprised as the rest of them.
August 4th: Snake River crossing reached.
August 8th: Lost in fog for two days.
August 10th: A thief steals three oxen?! Ruffnut has got to stop taking second watch.
August 12th: Lose the trails, lose two days.
August 16th: Fort Boise reached.
August 21st: More heavy fog costs a day.
August 23rd: One of the oxen has died.
August 29th: Nanashi wanders off. It takes 4 days to find her. What the hell was that, Nanashi?
September 2nd: Blue Mountains reached.
September 6th: Nanashi has typhoid. Shouldn't have wandered off.
September 7th: Nanashi has died. Zetta furiously rescinds her 'worthy rival' status.
September 9th: The Dalles reached. A thief steals 32 pounds of food.
September 10th: One of the oxen is injured. Zetta rescinds Ruffnut's spear privileges.
September 13th: Wild fruit!
September 15th: Willamette Valley! Zetta and his lowly apprentice have climbed to victory over the backs of his lesser minions!

...why doesn't Zetta seem happy?