insertmeathere | I want to tell the world!

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I want to tell the world!

I JUST HAD SEX, THE MEME

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Lovingly stolen from

starkwantsyou

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_{[Ildraniath is still awake, propped up on her elbows and looking down at him.

It's odd, really. She hasn't taken a lover or an intimate in a very long time. Especially not a human - well, a construct in the form of a human. It seems appropriate somehow. She reaches out to brush a hand over his forehead, clearing the hair from his face. A subtle, small gesture.]}

[Zouichi opens his eyes when feels his hair brushed out of his face; he's a very light sleeper. He has to be, for what he does. But he's still a little surprised at the gesture.]

...Thanks.

_{[She raises her hand, wrist flicking in polite dismissal. She's still nude, although her lower half is covered by a tangle of sheets. She certainly doesn't feel ashamed by it, however.]}

It's nothing, truly.

_{[Well, maybe it was. Who knows?]}

[That makes two of them, then! Anyway, nothing or not, he appreciates it.]

You're very, um... that was nice.

[Oh god, why did he say that someone just kill him now. Preferably with a very high caliber weapon. Or maybe a laser sword. Because he was pretty hard to kill otherwise.]

_{[She laughs softly, amused.]}

...thank you. Although I believe you could stand to expand your vocabulary.

_{[She's teasing, of course. It wasn't the same as having an Eldar. Not really. The mechanics were the same, the emotions, but the minds were limited as to how they could touch. There was a difference, subtle, but there.

But it wasn't unpleasant.]}

I hadn't expected it to be... so similar. But perhaps my bias is showing.

_{[She dips her head in an apologetic bow.]}

[You're killing him here, Ildraniath. Although he does recognize she's teasing. His face might be juuuust the tiniest bit flushed anyway, though.]

Well, if that's the only critique I'm going to get, I guess I'll take it as a veiled compliment.

[Seriously? He was expecting much worse. Also: is she... apologizing for something?]

I'm... actually pretty surprised about how similar it was, actually. So, um... how is a connection between two Eldar different?

_{[It's only sort of an apology, alright?]}

Ah... It is difficult to explain.

_{[She eases herself back down and rolls onto her side, head propped up on one hand.]}

I think the best way to say it is that our minds are much more involved.

[He's not complaining! He'll take a sort-of apology!]

Ah. Well, I like to think I have a mind, but as of yet, no psychic powers.

[Pause.]

...would you mind telling me what it's like?

...difficult to describe.

_{[She eyes him for a moment.]}

Like describing color to the blind, I think.

_{[She reaches over and draws her fingers down the side of his face, feeling the emotions that come off of him.]}

Imagine that you can feel emotion. Imagine... that you can sense them and feel them and share in them. That is an inkling of an idea.

[It is a little difficult to picture, but he is trying. He does want to understand in some small way. So he tries to call up an emotion or two -- what it felt like to first wake up on the ship, for instance, amidst a crowd of frightened strangers, and offer them a hand -- then imagines that shared. Feeling the fear and confusion of the people around him, being able to project assurance and calm.]

...Does it bother you? If you're not among Eldar with whom you can share that connection any more, does it feel like you're... alone, somehow? Or missing something?

[Wow, he just realized that was a really personal question.]

Sorry. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I was just...

[Curious? Concerned? Probably both. In any case, the emotions emanating from him are a complex swirl right now, but those two are chief among them.]

_{[She frowns for a moment and then rolls onto her back and sits up, knees drawn up to her chest. It's a very rare moment of vulnerability for her and she isn't sure how to answer.

But if she didn't trust him, would their relationship have ever gotten as far as this?]}

...it's fine, I assure you.

_{[Her expression softens and her tone turns just the slightest bit wistful.]}

It is lonely here at times. There's no infinity circuit.

_{[She makes a soft 'hmm' sound and lapses into silence.]}

I'm sorry. I wish I could help.

[A very long pause this time.]

To tell you the truth, I have found myself wishing you didn't have to go back. Wouldn't have to go back, when this is over.

[Even if that meant no infinity circuit.]

It is a hardship; I will endure it.

_{[Her voice hardens slightly as she speaks. She'll deal with it. And then it softens again as she turns to glance at him, a slight expression of surprise registering before it's gone again.]}

I... am flattered.... Thank you.

_{[She feels a twinge in her gut. Would she regret not seeing him again when, if their worlds are restored and she returns to her craftworld?

She thinks she might. She stretches out a hand to cup his cheek, thumb slowly stroking over his skin as she looks at him.]}

I think I might share that sentiment as well.

_{[And what would her peers think? To here her speaking thus to a human? A construct?

But they are not here and their judgement would not sway her, in any case.]}

[Zouichi is... genuinely surprised to hear her say that. Not because he doubts it, or because he thought she had no feelings toward him at all, but because there are very few moments when Ildraniath has ever looked as unguarded as she has today. And while he's sure any outsider would consider her last statement a lukewarm acknowledgment of affection at best -- maybe even something begrudgingly given -- he will consider it something infinitely dear. A memory he will not relinquish, even if all others are eventually lost to him.

He puts a hand over hers, lowering his gaze slightly. He doesn't argue with her, or point out that her fellow Eldar would most likely take an extremely dim view of her sentiment. Ildraniath would feel that knowledge more keenly he ever would.]

Thank you.

...there is something I would have to do, if all our worlds were destroyed. It would probably take a long time.

[There's an unspoken 'but' in that simple statement of fact.]

_{[She curls her fingers slightly as his hand covers her own, gaze searching. The unspoken 'but' leaves her curious. Most of her life has been spent picking up subtle cues of emotion - Eldar can say volumes with the simple quirk of an eyebrow.]}

What is that?

_{[Honestly, she doesn't think they'll ever get their worlds back. Instead, she believes that she must fight simply to keep her race alive for another day. And part of her knows she would forsake Zouichi for that. But that is a choice she does not have to make. Not today and hopefully not for a long time yet.]}

Saving the Earth, of course.

[He smiles slightly; it's an expression that has the briefest, almost imperceptible hint of sadness to it. On anyone else, it would be bitterness, to be sure.]

However, once that is over...

[It's not a question of 'if' for him, it's a question of 'how long'. And in this case, though he doesn't know it, the answer to 'how long' will be about four hundred years. Maybe less, if you factor in the experience and skills he's developed here.]

...I would like to try and seek you out. If you wouldn't mind.

[Zouichi is sure that Ildraniath will always consider her duty to the Eldar as her first and foremost. But he's in a unique position to understand that... and he would count himself fortunate simply to remain by her side. Even if was only for a time.

...Oh, wait; he'd just said something incredibly embarrassing, hadn't he?]

While I'm at it, I'd also like a pony.

_{[She sighs softly and the ghost of a smile appears on her features. She leans in and puts her forehead against his. Anyone who knew her from the ship would probably be surprised by the tender movement.]}

I don't think I would, somehow.

_{[Her path would not change; she was already trapped. Her feelings would not fade for a long time.]}

Although I am afraid I can't help you with the pony.

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I want to tell the world!

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