America... FUCK YEAH!

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

Are you tired of not having freedom? Are you tired of not being to carry around more than 5 guns? Are you tired of those damn mexicans not speaking any english and parking their cars on your lawn?

Okay, the mexicans on this ship don't have cars, and no one really has a lawn, but if they did have cars, they'd park'em on your lawns if you had one and you'd be just as sick of that shit as I am.

Then vote for me for Captain!

I'm Kevin Ryman, and I'm an American. From America. Where we have freedom, beer, guns, and NASCAR. Where the people speak english! ...Except for them mexicans, and some them chinese people, but they cut our grass and make cheap take-out, so we keep'em around for now.

But, shit, if you want FREEDOM! If you want BEER! If you want GUNS! And if you want NASCAR! Hey, if you want all of that together and have the freedom to drive 200 miles an hour while drinkin a sixpack and shootin at mexicans, then vote for Kevin Ryman for Meatship Captain.

A vote for Ryman is a vote for America.


This message has been paid for by the following: Anheuser-Busch, NASCAR, The NRA, The Tea Party, The Religious Right, Rush Limbuagh, Sarah Palin, Fox News, and The Dukes of Hazzard (Now available on DVD)

Comments

[notlewis]

God dammit, didn't you go join the military and invade a small country yet, or something?

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

No, but if means I get to shoot your skinny terrorist ass, then I might!

[notlewis]

FORMER terrorist!

And I didn't even do the terroristing part.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

A former terrorist is still a terrorist who helped spread terrorism to terrorist free countries like a terrorist bastard would!

[el-escarabajo.livejournal.com]

Everyone already has guns under the current command. People have more guns than they did back home.

And back home was Texas.

And I'd focus more on the blatant racism and stupidity, but there's way too much of it so I'm at something of a loss here.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

...Weren't you supposed to mow my lawn last week?

Get to it! And I want a discount for you being a week late, AGAIN. Ese.

[el-escarabajo.livejournal.com]

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

What was that, wetback? You say somethin?

Speak up! And speak english too while you're at it!

[ialwayscomeback.livejournal.com]

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

What you lookin at?

I am laughing way too hard ;_;

[voiceofserenity.livejournal.com]

Don't listen to him, he destroys cars like you've never seen.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

What are you talkin about?

That jeep was a work of art when I was done with it!

[voiceofserenity.livejournal.com]

Work of gou se, is more like it. You can't just let it be itself, can ya.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

I made it into a beast, it was beautiful! You just can't appreciate fine art.

[letmelive]

Kevin.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

What?

[hexyeah]

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

Sup, tits? How you doin?

[hexyeah]

[HEXBOLT]

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

*Is now shirtless, in all of his ruggedly American glory*

...well, damn. You don't waste no time, do you?

[hexyeah]

[...Stupid unpredictable hexbolts.]

I'm sorry. I had meant to teach you a lesson. Consider that a warning, then. The next time the results won't be nearly so benign.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

*flexes manly muscles*

Well, if you want me to stay after school sister, you just had to say so.

[demon-alessa.livejournal.com]

If you're actually applauding cars going around in a circle, clearly you have a lapse in intelligence. That is not needed in a leader.

Also, you seem to think everyone from here is America, and applaud shooting people of the Latino persuasion, however little we have of them on the ship. Clearly you have to have your head examined.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

NASCAR is the sport of Kings! Except not cause it's american.

But if America had a King, he'd love it!

[demon-alessa.livejournal.com]

It is for simple minded people.

No he wouldn't.

[killsfengshui.livejournal.com]

Hey, gwailo, get your ghost-looking hoop back to America and keep drinking your cheap, weak booze.

Spirits above, you CASers get dumber with each generation.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

Oh, shit, you're like, chinese or something. Okay.

I'LL TALK LOUD-LY. AND SLOW-LY. SO YOU CAN UN-DER-STAND ME.

I. AM RUN-NING. FOR CAP-TAIN. OF THE MEAT-SHIP.

YOU. SHOULD VOTE. FOR ME. BE-CAUSE. I. AM. AWE-SOME. O-K? GOOD!

[killsfengshui.livejournal.com]

YOU WANTA THE FISH BALLS?

[in-venting.livejournal.com]

You make me sad, Uncle Snuffleupagus.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

Hey there, half-pint!

What's there to be sad about? You're Uncle Snuffy is about to be in charge of the meatship!

[in-venting.livejournal.com]

No, I'm pretty sure you're about to be in charge of an airlock.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

Awesome! That means I can fling mexicans into space.

[in-venting.livejournal.com]

No... I'm pretty sure they're going to fling you into space, Uncle Snuffy.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

Pfft! Everybody loves me.

[in-venting.livejournal.com]

I...

Yes, Uncle Snuffy, everyone loves you.

[terribly2shy.livejournal.com]

That is incredibly rude and mean. The Chinese and Mexicans contribute a lot to America's economy and culture, and our immigration systems often force them into small jobs in which they struggles with keeping a stable income.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

They contribute shrimp fried rice at 2am and decent yard care, but that's about it. Half of them ain't there legally anyway.

[terribly2shy.livejournal.com]

The Mexicans and Chinese do much more than that! If you had taken a decent history class, then you would know that our economy is partly thanks to their aid.

Isn't America the land of the free?

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

And the home of the brave.

And the maker of Budweiser.

[terribly2shy.livejournal.com]

[makes a face at you]

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

You got gas, or something, sweetheart?

[terribly2shy.livejournal.com]

Wh-what? NO! [blushing? yes.]

[foreseen-future.livejournal.com]

...








Well. I've seen enough. Very ethnocentric of you.

[nevermadestars.livejournal.com]

Why, thank you! *No, he has no idea what you mean*

[foreseen-future.livejournal.com]

Ethnocentrism is not something to be proud of.