insertmeathere | Meatpile of Mystery! (Open Crack Threading!)

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Meatpile of Mystery! (Open Crack Threading!)

(Inspired by silliness in chat and the not!kink meme)

Your character(s) went to sleep in their usual cubby hole in the sleeping halls.

All seemed well and normal.

But this? This is weird. They wake up to find themselves in a pile on something soft, entangled with various other crew members.

The natural response, I believe, is "What the HECK did I do yesterday?!"

At least most of you are fully clothed...

(Yes, there is a perfectly innocent explanation for this. But your characters don't know that.)

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Xander glanced down at himself and around again. He gestured between her and him.

"I... don't know?" Don't say you wish we did. Oh god, wait, thinking, telepath. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts!

He's just going to try to sidle back. To look for.... a... blanket! Yes that's it. A big blanket for her.

And then a hole.
For him to hide in.

"Cell scrapings. Scytale had some from you." She says this but doubt is beggining to show in her voice. Maybe...

"My Duncan is a ghola...one of a long line. The tyrant went through them like a slig through garbage. Crushed dozens of them under his body in his thousands of years reigning." She senses Ghanima's offense at the term, latches on to it. She can't help herself. This is only a fraction of the pain he caused me!

OK, this situation seems oddly familiar. Though that time in Eureka where everyone was dreaming the same thing.... Well the only person who came out naked in it was Carter.

She quickly looks down and lets out a breath of relief. She still has the clingy suit on. Not that there weren't hot guys onboard but seriously... She'd at least want to remember if she did anything.

So what the hell had happened here?!?!

She looks over at Nathan and shrugs. "I'm thinking the same thing... Do you remember anything from... Last night?"

His lips only eased into smirk again.

"Really, Lois, what makes you think I'll tip my hand just because you say to?"

Well, one set of Kang's armor was learning all about the older Cassie's Lang's "great rack". Mostly because it was right there on top of his face.

He would have thought that position was uncomfortable for her, but apparently not. ~~Perhaps he wasn't the first synthetic person she'd fallen asleep on...?~~

"[Mmmnph,]" he suggested helpfully. Hey, where had his cape gotten to anyway?

Jean's eyes narrow and she shoots Xander a seriously not happy face. "You better hope we didn't!"

She's about to make him her personal rag doll if he keeps up with his thoughts. Heck she might do it anyway, just for thinking what he did!!!

"Hey, you're not Mainframe- I mean Kristoff- I mean- argh!"

Nathan stared down, and felt his head again.

"No, and I know I'm not hungover either. Are you?"

Eventually Kon woke up. He turned, grinning.

He opened his eyes.

"...Oh HELL no!"

"We happened. Twice."

It's hard to tell if he's being sarcastic or not.

"Because on a ship like this, anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together will have that hand twisted behind your back before you know it. Admit it. You've got nothing."

Ghani likes to think that she's pretty tolerant. She really likes to think so, but when it comes to her brother? Oh no, tolerant flies right out the window.
She takes a step forward, her anger evident in her expression. "You lie! My brother was no tyrant!"

Keyword - was.

Jo thinks for a moment and quickly sahkes her head. "No, and I get pretty nasty ones, and I don't think I hit my head..."

She quickly reaches up and feels her head for any ijuries but doesn't find any. "What the hell happened??"

Sheeana flows off the edge of the bed, as sinuous as the worms she dances for. Her voice is needlelike, prodding, goading. "He was the worst tyrant the universe has ever known. No aspect of..." And now she catches the difference in tense. "Of course. Just a moment." She's gambling here. Retreating into other memory might be a good way to get a crysknife in the stomach. She's counting on Ghanima's Atreides honor overriding her fremen viciousness.

"He didn't die, Ghanima. It was a ruse, to fool our enemies." She replies in the voice of Lady Jessica, Ghanima's grandmother. As a reverend mother, she has access to those memories too.

He chuckled, in the same kind of way that an adult would at a toddler who is being silly for the sake of being silly.

"Lois, Lois, Lois..." He shook his head. "If you want this to turn into a dick waving contest, well... you're not equipped to participate."

There was a pause, and a slight shrug with his eyebrows.

"At least I hope you're not. Never can be too sure; Plastic surgeons can do amazing things these days."

He shrugged again.

Tim extracts himself from the tangle that is Lois and Lex (ohgodohgod), only to trip, fall, and find himself tangled in another set of limbs. "Are you kidding?!" he cries out indignantly.

And there's a groan from a body beside Loren. "Largo, shut up and go to sleep," she muttered as Pirogoeth curled up more in her sleep. It was oddly soft ground. Oh well, it was comfortable and warm and she wasn't going to question it.

"DOUBLE HELL NO!"

"Ack! Kon! Move your hand!"

She can't put up with that condescending nonsense for very long. A tense, annoyed smile flits across her face, and she doesn't back down.

"You can shove the little-girl-can't-play-in-the-boy's-club crap. Dick waving? Oh no. It's the size of your balls that really counts, and all these cheap shots and frat-boy jabs just goes to show yours are a lot smaller than the past few years have led me to believe."

Lex was the picture of calm. Inside, though, he really was enjoying this.

"Tell me, Lois, are you always this easy..." he purposely let that hang in the air for a second, then continued, "...to rile up?"

Ghani's eyebrow arches and she just stares at Sheeana. She's obviously surprised that this insolent, rude and not to forget crazy woman obviously has the memories of Lady Jessica, Ghani's very own Grandmother - who last time she'd seen her was very much ALIVE.

"What games are you playing?" She asks, her eyes narrowing suspiciously - not really wanting to believe what she's hearing.

She returns to her own voice. "Once again I should ask the same of you. Look at my eyes, damnit!" She points to them, glowing the same blue-within-blue. "I can be only one of two things: a fremen or a reverend mother. If I were a fremen of your time I would be prostrate at your feet by now and if I were a reverend mother I would have tried to kill you. I'm from your future, tyrant's sister! Leto's reign came and passed in my time!"

"Yeah, well, you wake up on top of an egocentric bald creep with far too many issues and try to not blow your temper." Lois shoots back. "And to save you the trouble? Blow, ha ha."

That got a chuckle out of him. He really did find pushing her buttons to be very, very amusing. The only way this could be more fun is if he actually had slept with her.

"I tend to avoid dating bald women, thankfully. I'm terrified that no one would be able to tell us apart from the back of our heads," he joked.

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Meatpile of Mystery! (Open Crack Threading!)

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