Meatpile of Mystery! (Open Crack Threading!)

[whitewolfzita.livejournal.com]

(Inspired by silliness in chat and the not!kink meme)

Your character(s) went to sleep in their usual cubby hole in the sleeping halls.

All seemed well and normal.

But this? This is weird. They wake up to find themselves in a pile on something soft, entangled with various other crew members.

The natural response, I believe, is "What the HECK did I do yesterday?!"

At least most of you are fully clothed...

(Yes, there is a perfectly innocent explanation for this. But your characters don't know that.)

Comments

[imperious_lex]

"By Lex Luthor standards, which are the highest in the world. So if we did, you got the better end of the exchange.

"But..." he gestured towards the plantsuit he was still wearing, "...if you consider the fact that we're still fully clothed, you likely weren't fortunate enough to get a world class Lexing last night.

"Though that still doesn't explain why you're on top of me right now, Ms. Lane. Or is this how you get your top stories?"

[morewildcherry.livejournal.com]

"Lexing? You seriously call it a LEXING?" Lois has heard bad puns, but that one just took the cake. She shoves herself off of him, hard, perhaps almost elbowing the Robin kid in the process. Whoops.

"I don't need THIS––" she gives a rather aggressive gesture at her own body "––to get the stories. I use my HEAD. It's a shame most girls work with the opposite, because when those bimbos are focused on your body, they're clearly missing the whackjob personality."

[mrsarcastic003]

Tim grimaces, trying to work his way away from these two. "Um. Ow. I... really need to not think about you two Lexing, or sexing, or whatever, because--" Ugh. Superman's wife and his worst enemy. Tim doesn't think there's enough brain bleach in the world to help him erase that thought.

[imperious_lex]

He sat up with a quietly amused smirk on his face.

"When we get back to our planet, remind me to ask Ollie about your 'head' and how you used it to get stories out of him. But, in the mean time, one of you could make yourselves useful and figure out why half the crew is down here."

[morewildcherry.livejournal.com]

Oh he did not just say that. Lois seethes. She might just hit him. After all, it's not exactly illegal here, and what can he do?

"And people think I'M crass. Jabs at my relationships? What, Lex, is that the only offense you've got without your money and your security guards and your corporation?"

[imperious_lex]

"No. It's not."

And though his voice was steady and calm, it carried a certain weight. You really don't want to know what else he has up his sleeves, Lois.

[morewildcherry.livejournal.com]

He could have all the weight in the world on that tone and she'd still run headfirst into it, just to call his bluff.

"Prove it."

[imperious_lex]

His lips only eased into smirk again.

"Really, Lois, what makes you think I'll tip my hand just because you say to?"

[morewildcherry.livejournal.com]

"Because on a ship like this, anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together will have that hand twisted behind your back before you know it. Admit it. You've got nothing."

[imperious_lex]

He chuckled, in the same kind of way that an adult would at a toddler who is being silly for the sake of being silly.

"Lois, Lois, Lois..." He shook his head. "If you want this to turn into a dick waving contest, well... you're not equipped to participate."

There was a pause, and a slight shrug with his eyebrows.

"At least I hope you're not. Never can be too sure; Plastic surgeons can do amazing things these days."

He shrugged again.

[morewildcherry.livejournal.com]

She can't put up with that condescending nonsense for very long. A tense, annoyed smile flits across her face, and she doesn't back down.

"You can shove the little-girl-can't-play-in-the-boy's-club crap. Dick waving? Oh no. It's the size of your balls that really counts, and all these cheap shots and frat-boy jabs just goes to show yours are a lot smaller than the past few years have led me to believe."

[imperious_lex]

Lex was the picture of calm. Inside, though, he really was enjoying this.

"Tell me, Lois, are you always this easy..." he purposely let that hang in the air for a second, then continued, "...to rile up?"

[morewildcherry.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, you wake up on top of an egocentric bald creep with far too many issues and try to not blow your temper." Lois shoots back. "And to save you the trouble? Blow, ha ha."

[imperious_lex]

That got a chuckle out of him. He really did find pushing her buttons to be very, very amusing. The only way this could be more fun is if he actually had slept with her.

"I tend to avoid dating bald women, thankfully. I'm terrified that no one would be able to tell us apart from the back of our heads," he joked.

[morewildcherry.livejournal.com]

"Great, Lex, you work on that comedy career. I guess it's all you have now that Tess Mercer's taken over everything you had, huh?"

[imperious_lex]

That got another chuckle. Hell, he owned Tess, and he certainly wouldn't trust his company to someone he didn't have complete power over.

"I'm not worried about Tess."