insertmeathere | PODPOPPING IS A GO

A wet, naked girl's pod choses this exact moment to drop her onto the floor in a puddle of slime. Anders sits up, expression more suspicious than surprised.

"Oh my God I knew this was going to happen eventually, where am I."

She looks down at the naked and the slime. "Oh. Here I am. Well, the podsuits should do wonders for my singleness."

Matthew turned to the new voice and couldn't help but laugh.

"And here I thought this was going to be boringoh fuck I know where this is."

"You bet your sweet ass - that's not a come-on - this won't be boring."

Nakedness? What nakedness? Oh, that nakedness. Anders goes through a cursory attempt to cover her rack with one arm without looking like a dweeb, then gives up. It's not like there's a lot to see anyway.

"So, which one are you? I'm Anders. I'll shake your hand AFTER we get some clothes all right? All right."

"I'm Matthew," he replied, not really caring about covering up his own nudity. It wasn't like he was worried; everyone else would be just as naked as he was when they popped out of the pods. So he held out a hand anyway.

"You actually wanna put one of those things on you, Anders? Be my gues. That shit isn't touching me."

"What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in this fucking place. Fuckity fuck fuck fuckarooni," says Saphie, out MacManusing the MacManuses, as she shivers, naked and impossibly nubile.

"I sense threesome," Matthew joked, before turning to greet the other nude woman.

"Seriously, though, I thought this was just a kind of lame internet RP."

"How come I had to wait until now to get to see you naked, darling?"

The equally naked Anders saunters over to slide her well-lubricated arm around her BFF's equally well-lubricated shoulders of nubility (+2 to seduction rolls!)

"Haha but seriously you never send me any sexy pictures, and I asked so nicely."

"Definitely sensing threesome."

"Definitely sensing ass-to-be-kicking...some."

"Sure you do," Matthew replied. "So what's going on anyway? Did you break reality or something, Saph? And shouldn't Stacy be bugging us about our 'Great Purpose' soon?"

"Actually this is cool, it's better than sleeping on my couch until 3 'cause I have no job and no life and nobody wants to employ my overeducated ass."

Saphie is still getting hugs. Calm, happy, actually not that unreasonably freaked out hugs. "I'm always coming over to YOUR place. When are you gonna visit one of mine? Do I have to mod a game too to get you to come over?"

To Matt: "We made a crack game. Hence us being here. We're fucking crazy and probably only amusing to ourselves. That's what happened."

To Andy. "Uh. Yes. Make it not journalspam and I'll show up with bells on."

A pause.

"And also clothes on."

"But I can't GM to save my life." Yes, she is whining. "Otherwise we would all be Exalted-ing the day away."

She looks around eagerly. "So, you remember when we were teenagers, and we wrote that one story about our self-inserts going to a magical plane of existence where everything that we dreamed up became reality? Do you think if I thought really hard about David Boreanaz -" She is eying one of the pods. She is eyeing one of the pods very cheerfully.

"Probably."

Matthew stood there, waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, he spoke up.

"Well, this is interesting, but I think we should go get cleaned off. Not that I won't find it amusing to watch you two get molested by tentacles."

"I'll hold him, you punch. You punch harder than me."

"'Kay."

And out slid another naked girl, this one shivering. She curls up in the fetal position immediately upon hearing other voices, eyes wide. Zoki was pretty sure she knew where this was, and she didn't like it at all.

"You're a marked woman...ship...alien...thing, Stacy", growled Zoki. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to stay right here until I wake up from this freaky nightmare. And as soon as I do, I'm swearing off eating cake before bed. It does things to your mind."

She sighed quietly and moved to adjust glasses that weren't there. Damn. "...though it'd be nice to actually see this place for a bit. The green and black and peach blobs just aren't doing anything for me. Sorry Stace. I know you put so much work into looking nice and creepy and all."

Matthew walked up to fetal girl and leaned down, holding out his hand. The lack of glasses irked him as well, but even without them he was still confident in his abilities with a weapon. He didn't think he would have much to worry about, super-powered residents and alien monsters or no. Friendliness was first and foremost on his mind at the moment, however, and he continued to hold out his hand, smiling welcomingly.

"Here, take my hand," he offered, "and let's see if I we can't find someplace to clean off."

Zoki wound herself into an even tighter ball as he approached, the few shreds of her dignity remaining not willing to let go quite yet. "Oh please let this be a dream...it's gotta be. Come on." She steadied her goop-covered, recently manicured nails and dug into her other arm. It hurt, and she responded by hissing and gripping that arm.

"It's not, is it?" No. And now a guy had arrived, staring at her naked and slimy self. But they were all in the same predicament, and she reasoned that the only way to change anything was to get moving. Didn't mean she had to like it. At least he seemed nice? Zoki appreciated that in the middle of all this madness.

"Ah...alright, but please don't look at me any more than you have to. I'll do the same for you, not that I have to try too hard because I can't see more than blobs without my glasses anyway. And if we can find a way to do that that doesn't involve Stacy's creepy tentacles, that would be fantastic, but I'm not about to get my hopes up." With that rambling over, she reached up and gingerly took his hand.

"And I'll try to tone down the teal deer," she said as an afterthought.

"I don't like going off half-cocked and half-blind, either. I can't wait to find my glasses again," Matthew replied, helping the girl up to her feet.

"I don't mind the tee ell dee arr, either. I deal with enough of it that it doesn't faze me. Name's Matthew, and I guess you're already familiar with Stacy, too. Saves me time and trouble." He smirked at the comment about Stacy's creepy tentacles, though.

"I really wish I had my glasses now, that'd be a sight to see with everyone here," he teased.

"Maybe Stacy will make us some nifty plant visors. That's what she did for Billy, anyway." She swayed a bit unsteadily for a moment and then found her balance, snatching back her hand to join the other in rubbing her arms. Considering that they're in an armpit-like atmosphere, she didn't expect it to be quite this chilly. The throbbing floor under her bare feet wasn't entirely unexpected, but that didn't make it any more comforting.

"I am. I'm Zoki, and you're...the Matt from the game, right? Unbelievable. Our own fantasy world's decided to swallow us up."

He earned a very weak kick in the leg with that last comment. "If only we were all somewhat blurry-eyed for now. Speaking of that, is Stacy planning on lighting up the trail to the tentacle room any time soon or do we have to feel it out ourselves?"

"I don't know," Matthew replied, cheerfully ignoring the kick, "but I do know that with several people from the game popping out of these damn pods, this is going to become much more surreal than anyone anticipated. It's also going to cause problems. Most of us are just average people. A little overweight, glasses, obsessed with popular culture and too busy with jobs or college or both to be concerned about other skill sets." He shook his head and sighed.

"I wonder just what exactly is going on that we've been brought here. We're hardly the kind of person Stacy would bother waking up. Even me."

"Precisely. Unless Stacy somehow requires people with encyclopedic knowledge of comic books and television, I can't see how I'd be useful. I think Saphie knows martial arts, but that's just one of us."

"Unless our release was either an accident or a sick cosmic joke."

"Well, I'm a decent shot with most any firearm, and I throw a wicked left hook, but other than that, I don't see why she'd take me. I'm more inclined to believe, if I were more genre savvy, that we were being roleplayed by each other in the community. Wouldn't that be a hoot?"

"Hey, that's more than I have to offer. I can scream loudly. And have a knack for clumsiness. That's about it."

Zoki would totally facepalm if her hands weren't practically glued to her body. "You're still on that theory? I know you fantasize about roleplaying all of us into kinky scenarios of doom like a puppetmaster with too much time on his hands, but I didn't think you'd actually go through with it. Unless there's a 'me' in the real world in on the joke too. I would be that cruel to myself, wouldn't I? Damn."

She looks past and intently studies the eerie glowing blurs spiraling upward. "If I remember right, the clothing room should be...this way. Thanks for the silence, Stacy! I hope your tentacles are awake---oh geez, did I just say that?" Visibly creeped out, she starts to shuffle off. At least she can't see the shadowy forms in the pods up the walkway. That's a bit creepier of a sight than she wants to deal with right now.

Matthew really didn't like thinking about the pods, or the potential people in them. Despite his cavalier attitude, the jokes were the only thing keeping his mind from being overwhelmed by the enormity of it all. Being played by someone on a community ... it was entirely too meta and Matrix-y for the man's tastes. If they were being awakened for some great purpose, though, who else sat in those pods? His father? Sisters?

He shook his head, dismissing the thoughts before they started consuming him, and replied to Zoki. "If you think I'm going to get in one of those meaty plant-suits, you're crazy," he said.

"I'd rather walk around naked, sporting an erection and an embarrassing Dwight Yoakam tattoo than put those things on."

Zoki's not about to admit it, of course, but she's worried about the identities of the pod people too. The people she loved could sit in stasis for years, and then---oh god, she'd have to explain this to them. Not a pleasant conversation.

But back to her current priority : clothing. "Suit yourself---or don't, I guess, is your point. The way I see it, one's not really any better than the other. Yeah, getting dressed will probably be the most uncomfortable experience of my life so far, but it'll be over fast. At least it had better be. And the pulsing will feel normal eventually."

Oh god why is she talking about this. WHY IS SHE TALKING ABOUT THIS. She just won't stop. "I guess going around naked would stop being so uncomfortable after a while too, but I like the whole toughness and first aid thing. And not feeling so...exposed. But you'd be okay. There's nothing more threatening than a naked guy with mad weapon skills and the balls to prove it. Like in the horror movies when the psycho walks in naked with the chainsaw and everyone runs away because they know he means business."

Now she's all worked up, rushing to get the dreaded tentacle tango over with. Naturally, jokes are in order. "That's actually not a bad tattoo idea. Should I go for Bill Nye the Science Guy, if there's an alien tattoo parlor up in here?"

Matthew got in on the jokes, too, enjoying the distraction. "Nah, I'd say go for a Beakman's World tattoo. Much more obscure nerd cred in that. And really, in a place like this, you're worrying about modesty of all things?" He laughed at the picture of her standing there, her arms moving to conceal herself from view.

"I'm not some Mongol horde out to rape and pillage, Zoki. You want to put on the plantsuit, that's fine. It's not the tentacles I distrust, it's just the suit itself I have issues with. No one knows what else that suit could be doing, or how it survives while being alive ... it's a mystery I'd rather not have touching my skin."

"Right, right. Or maybe Beaker. Meep meep!" Man did she wish she had something soft and cuddly right now to calm her nerves. "And that's not all I'm worried about, just the first thing. It can be easily solved, so I'm focusing on that before I turn to the whole 'we're lost in space possibly forever' aspect of this trip. One challenge at a time, Matt."

Zoki pauses for a minute. She'd never even considered that the suits might be dangerous. "I know you're not, dude. Kidding. And you could be right about the plantsuits. It's just...man, I don't know. I'm cold. I want this sticky goop off me. And I'm not about to schlep down to the city to get some curtains. Plus, there's no showers. I'm going."

By now, Zoki's reached the entrance to the clothing room, the blurry metal ring gleaming up at her from the floor. She turns back to look over his head, not quite at him but close enough. "Well, this is it. Do you think there's a route around the room you could take, or they'd leave you alone if you stuck to the wall like a fly?"

"I'm fine as is," Matt replied. "Sure, I've got goop on me, but that'll come off. And there's got to be showers or something around here somewhere, otherwise how do people keep clean? The suit doesn't cover the head or face." He shook his head.

"If you're embarrassed to be walking around naked, that's one thing. But ask yourself: Is modesty really worth the potential risk?"

"I think we're supposed to stick our heads in these mushroom lamp things in the bathrooms to clean them. But no showers that I know of."

Zoki considers that again for a moment. "You know...man. I'm not sure anymore. Are you sure you aren't just making up excuses to keep me naked?" It's said in an unconvincing teasing voice. She knows he's not. Things can't ever be simple here, can they?

"I'm asking for glasses at least. I don't think they'll be in the lockers since she makes her own." With that, she leans her head in and gestures up at one of the vines.

"Hey Stacy, sorry I kept you waiting but do you think---HEY!" Stacy, apparently, is not fond of waiting. A tentacle lashes around Zoki's wrist and roughly yanks her inside in a blink, followed by three more grabbing her other limbs and lifting her into the air. The writhing girl is restrained by countless other tentacles swirling around, wiping her skin, and secreting the plantsuit. Once she's set back on the ground and the last one retreats from installing her organic glasses, she curses at it liberally.

||That aggressive anatomical suggestion is noted, but will be physically impossible to complete. Is there anything else I can assist you with?|| responded Stacy calmly.

"Yeah, well I love you too Stacy. And no. No thanks. I've had enough of your help today."

||Your sentiments are noted, Zoki.|| No one asked you, Stacy.

Facepalm. There's definitely an unsettled look on Zoki's face as she retreats and tugs at the suit. "I think it'll come off should I change my mind. And if it eats me or gives me horns or something, you get to say 'I told you so' forever and ever. Promise."

"Glasses are fine, I could use them myself before I--HEY!" Before Matt could respond, the tentacles had him as well, cleaning and dressing him. Matthew fought back as he could, screaming obscenities and voicing his desire to not have some living wall of meat wrapped about him like a combination rose/steak unitard, but it was wholly ignored.

Matthew did get a few good hits in, however, as the two twitching tentacles in his hands proved. "Heh. Think she gave me some Violations for that?" Matthew asked, tossing the severed chunks of meatship aside. "Not that I care." He found himself breathing heavily. Despite having been in the air less than a minute or so, Matthew'd fought the damned things with every ounce of spirit he had.

Stacy'd still beaten him. That more than anything pissed him off. "This thing is coming off first chance I get."

"You'd at least get a warning first, I think? Yeah, she dragged us up here against our will, but I think she'd be understanding of her pod-children having a hostile reaction to being forcibly handled like that. Right, Stacy? I know you're not exactly a human and all but you knew he didn't want one."

Predictably, there's no response. "Figures. Very impressive fight, by the way," Zoki adds to Matt. "I'm sorry about this. I shouldn't have provoked her. But hey, at least we're clean and able to see, yeah? Not that the skittery goop-cleaners feel very clean."

She starts to lead the way up to the tubes that would carry them out. "Come on. Let's head up to the Living Area. Maybe you can get rid of that and hang with Chaucer or something, if he's up there. Or some of our other friends might be waiting."

"It's not your fault. I probably didn't please her too much either. Let's see what we can find out, then. But first, let's stop by those lockers. I'm pretty sure I'll have something in there, at least."

PODPOPPING IS A GO

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