If you didn't see this coming...you need glasses

[crysteel-future.livejournal.com]

Alright. Alright. So we've been getting up to some wierd stuff on this crack comm. And, do we want to stop? I think everyone can give a resounding "NO!" to that question. And, after a wierd stage for me in which I woke up one day with philosophy like Buddha, I realized something that this crack comm is desperately missing...

A gender-bending meme.

Rules.
1. Comment with your character reacting to the sudden change in body parts. If boy--then a girl, if a girl--then a boy. You get the idea.
2. Other characters comment  with mockery, flirtation, and/or outrage of their own on the first comment. Anything goes.
3. Don't talk about fight club. Profit*

[*profit does not mean that your character can go off into a room and explore their new body. new body does not come in extra large or extra small and is quite realistic in counterpart form. results may vary if you are a shklee or a shkler. do not take meme if pregnant.]

Comments

[playsin-traffic.livejournal.com]

...but I'm not attracted to dudes.

[not_the_philistine]

"What sorcery is this?!"

Yeah, now Goliath could use a shirt.

[madeofwyn.livejournal.com]

So... I guess the shift in brain chemistry didn't go that far. Not helpful, then. [When in doubt, SCIENCE.]

[morphitudinous]

Hey Kang! [Not many other Draconians around, are there?]

...you appear to be shocked. Is there something particularly disturbing about this conundrum for you?

[governorkang]

You're female.

[Duh. :|

Oh, and he hasn't really noticed his own sex change yet.]

[morphitudinous]

[Duh, he thinks right back.]

Affirmative. It's not something I would have volunteered for, but I have experience with a similar situation that was far more awkward for the involved parties. So this temporary problem isn't as distressing as it could have been for me.

[Billy is shorter too, so he doesn't immediately perceive differences in Kang.] Several of us spontaneously changed sexes a short while ago. I'm attempting to find the cause and a solution.

[nothawkingbird.livejournal.com]

A quick check over with hands, and even moving clothing away from key areas before exclaiming, "Somehow Reed Richards has to be behind this, right? I can't see Pym trying it."

[waylostandfound.livejournal.com]

"I'm a blonde. This is not happening." Rubbing a hand over face.

[madeofwyn.livejournal.com]

"How are you still taller than me? How?" Seriously, universe, that is just not fair.

[governorkang]

That's... very strange.

[...wait. Wait. Now he's getting a really bad feeling.]

[morphitudinous]

Yes, but I've resolved stranger situations in the past.

[..wait.]

Forgive me if this is an offensive question, but have you lost weight?

[governorkang]

[...he's shorter. His armor isn't fitting quite as well as it did before. And... oh hell, are his hips just a little bit wider?

DAMMIT.]

I think it affected me as well.

[morphitudinous]

I'm sorry, Kang. But as I said, I have some experience with physical alterations. Whenever the triggering agent is found, I'll begin work immediately to reverse it.

Are you going to be all right?

[governorkang]

I'm. Uh. Fine.

[This kind of screws things up with Fonrar. Just a bit.]

I'll be even better when this mess gets resolved.

[morphitudinous]

Kwisatz Haderach?

[She thinks she recognizes Sheeana. The male gives off that familiar 'creepy sage' vibe.]

[morphitudinous]

We all will, I'm sure of that. I feel out of balance, which is a state I haven't been in for quite some time.

[Yeah, why did she have to be cursed with a slightly bigger than average chest.]

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"See, here in the Engineering Department of Stacy, we don't have a Chain of Command so much as a Measurement Chart of Command, and you can imagine how it would throw things off if, say, you through infernal methods of gender-transformation became taller than, say, me. That's why you did it, isn't it? Isn't it, Wyn?"

What? Of course he recognizes her.

"But seriously, what am I now, 6 foot? 5-11? I feel so puny."

[voiceofserenity.livejournal.com]

...Well...if this ain't a bit strange...

[morphitudinous]

"I don't see larger deposits of fat in the chest as a particularly advantageous attribute. Quite the opposite, actually, if you intend to be athletic in any capacity."

They're so...awkward and cumbersome. As he's quickly learning.

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, because I find myself suddenly of the fairer sex, my first concern is how this is going to affect my track and field rating."

[governorkang]

[At least Kang doesn't have to worry about all of a sudden having breasts. Score one for reptiles.]

...is there any way I can help?

[morphitudinous]

She tilts her head, considering the problem.

"I'm confident that we'll resolve this soon. All things considered, it could have been worse---we could have swapped bodies with our female colleagues, for example."

Been there, done that. For other guys it might've been fun. Not Billy.

[morphitudinous]

If you can remember anything unusual from the moment of transformation, that would help. I'll also be testing my blood and the atmosphere for any abnormalities.

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"I think I coulda switched with Wyn to mostly the same effect. Except shorter."

He . . . she shrugs. "Hey, things could be a lot worse indeed. What would you say, direct alteration of reality a likely source of causation over anything physical? I'm trying to rule out mass hypnosis as we speak."

[morphitudinous]

"Yes, of course. You still retain your height advantage."

She smiles slightly. "i find hypnosis unlikely. My suspicions lean toward alteration at the molecular level, but I won't be certain without further testing."