If you didn't see this coming...you need glasses

[crysteel-future.livejournal.com]

Alright. Alright. So we've been getting up to some wierd stuff on this crack comm. And, do we want to stop? I think everyone can give a resounding "NO!" to that question. And, after a wierd stage for me in which I woke up one day with philosophy like Buddha, I realized something that this crack comm is desperately missing...

A gender-bending meme.

Rules.
1. Comment with your character reacting to the sudden change in body parts. If boy--then a girl, if a girl--then a boy. You get the idea.
2. Other characters comment  with mockery, flirtation, and/or outrage of their own on the first comment. Anything goes.
3. Don't talk about fight club. Profit*

[*profit does not mean that your character can go off into a room and explore their new body. new body does not come in extra large or extra small and is quite realistic in counterpart form. results may vary if you are a shklee or a shkler. do not take meme if pregnant.]

Comments

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

First order of business -

"Aww balls, I'm part of the itty-bitty-tittie-committee."

[madeofwyn.livejournal.com]

"How are you still taller than me? How?" Seriously, universe, that is just not fair.

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"See, here in the Engineering Department of Stacy, we don't have a Chain of Command so much as a Measurement Chart of Command, and you can imagine how it would throw things off if, say, you through infernal methods of gender-transformation became taller than, say, me. That's why you did it, isn't it? Isn't it, Wyn?"

What? Of course he recognizes her.

"But seriously, what am I now, 6 foot? 5-11? I feel so puny."

[madeofwyn.livejournal.com]

"... did you just complain about being 5'11"? Really?" Wyn is 5'6", maybe 5'7" on a good day. Gender-flipped.

"Besides, if I'd done this, I'd have actually succeeded at being taller than someone who is not Billy, because I don't think that counts."

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"God, yeah, it's awful."

Allen stretches, arms in the air, working kinks out of the back, on tip-toes, looming mockingly over poor, short, dude-Wyn.

"I mean look at me. I'm so petite. How will I reach the secret cookies I keep on the top shelves now? When I'm so tiny and all?"

[madeofwyn.livejournal.com]

Hey, you know what short people are good at? Poking tall people in the ribcage for being mocking.

"I hate you. Just so you know."

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Oof.

"You do not. You love me. In fact I bet you're wildly attracted to me now, since I am also so lithe and feminine."

Try stick-shaped and moderately angular.

[madeofwyn.livejournal.com]

Wyn thinks for a second, then shakes her (his?) head. "No, I don't think so. ... either I'm gay or you're not my type, and we are not experimenting to find out which."

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"Haha! I am offended you would suggest it, since I continue to be devoted to my wife, who is at least a LITTLE gay because I asked her if she would still love me if just this sort of situation were to occur and she said yes but we'd have to get a strap-on."

ALLEN TAKES PRIDE IN HIS TMI, DAMMIT.

[madeofwyn.livejournal.com]

That was most definitely TMI. And you might have managed to stun Wyn into silence, Allen.

[morphitudinous]

"I don't see larger deposits of fat in the chest as a particularly advantageous attribute. Quite the opposite, actually, if you intend to be athletic in any capacity."

They're so...awkward and cumbersome. As he's quickly learning.

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, because I find myself suddenly of the fairer sex, my first concern is how this is going to affect my track and field rating."

[morphitudinous]

She tilts her head, considering the problem.

"I'm confident that we'll resolve this soon. All things considered, it could have been worse---we could have swapped bodies with our female colleagues, for example."

Been there, done that. For other guys it might've been fun. Not Billy.

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"I think I coulda switched with Wyn to mostly the same effect. Except shorter."

He . . . she shrugs. "Hey, things could be a lot worse indeed. What would you say, direct alteration of reality a likely source of causation over anything physical? I'm trying to rule out mass hypnosis as we speak."

[morphitudinous]

"Yes, of course. You still retain your height advantage."

She smiles slightly. "i find hypnosis unlikely. My suspicions lean toward alteration at the molecular level, but I won't be certain without further testing."

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"If there was hypnosis it wouldn't fool my cyber-parts. I'm checking my biological records for hormonal aberrations -"

[different-skies.livejournal.com]

"You get used to it! Looks good on you, actually."

Hi, Allen, bouncy blue-haired bird bloke popping over to say hi from his new height of 6'1". "Cool, I'm taller than you now." Not that she was short to start with.

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"Barely." She smirks. "Don't get used to it. Kim, right?"

[different-skies.livejournal.com]

"It still counts!" he grins. "And yep - how many people here have blue hair and a biosuit?" ...Slightly self-conscious pause, although not for long, before he double-checks - "You are Allen, right?"

[twelvevoltman.livejournal.com]

"Hold on."

She reaches up to check her face. Mass of jewfro? Check. Nose that's been broken at least twice? Check. Cybertronic brain parts and nanorobotic secondary immune system? Check.

"Probably."

[different-skies.livejournal.com]

"You know, there are probably people here you can talk to about your lack of confidence in your identity."

He almost manages to say it with a straight face. Almost.