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NAKED MEME

Suddenly.

You are naked.

All of you. Even you, over there, the already naked guy.

Except for one thing.

You all have fig leaves over your privates. They cannot be removed or destroyed. They are large enough to cover everything. (They might itch a little)

Oh, and even already naked people with no visible privates will have the leaves, either over their naughty bits' actual locations, or just where they should be.

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[At least someone's comfortable with his body. Billy glances down at his own as if to confirm---]

I'm very grateful that it's not poison ivy.

[Looks up again, sad headshake] My lack of usable vision has hindered my search for clues, but so far all we've been able to determine is that the leaves have some magical properties. That suggests that our clothing was whisked away by magic as well.

[He hates magic. Still tempted to consider it just another technology, but one he'll never understand.]

[Oh, you had to mention that, didn't you, Billy? Jamie abruptly looks alarmed and is back to studying the fig leaf for a moment before he, too, confirms that it's not poison ivy, and he lets out a sigh of relief.]

Och, that's right. Ye can't see without your glasses. Magic would make sense, though. Maybe someone irritated one of the fairies and they decided to take it out on everyone. Some types can be very vengeful.

Affirmative. While certain people have been 'checking me out, I find myself unable to return the favor. [Blush. Even if he was able he probably wouldn't, but it's the principle of the thing.]

[The fairy hypothesis draws a groan.] If we have to appease the fairies, I fear this won't end for a while. Do you have any idea what a group of them might want?

Affirmative. While certain people have been 'checking me out, I find myself unable to return the favor. [Blush. Even if he was able he probably wouldn't, but it's the principle of the thing.]

[The fairy hypothesis draws a groan.] If we have to appease the fairies, I fear this won't end for a while. Do you have any idea what a group of them might want?

Depends on the type of fairy, aye? Could be a wee bit of bread and a saucer of milk, or they could want us to sacrifice something, or they could just be doing it because they think it's funny.

If it's that last one, I think we're stuck like this until they get bored.

[Facepalm] GLaDOS and trickster fairies sound suspiciously similar.

[Fidgets and sets his foot against the tree, jutting his knee out. He can't decide if he wants his arms behind his head or over one of the deeper scars on his chest. Getting comfortable is hard.]

Is anyone else watching?

Aye, they do a wee bit, don't they?

[Hm. Billy seems nervous. Jamie reaches up to pluck a leaf from the tree, and decides to look at that instead of Billy. Maybe that'll help.]

Hm? Oh, right. [There's a quick scan given to the area, then he shakes his head.] No-one's looking right now. Ye should be fine.

[Back to the leaf.] I wonder if it is GLaDoS instead of the fairies. She seems more interested in doing odd things to the crew.

Perhaps her programmers were inspired by the legends.

[He looks up at the leaf and shakes his head] No, I'm not worried about you. You don't have to go out of the way to avert your eyes. You're my friend, Renne can't see me in the first place, and Goliath and Kang think all humans look equally 'different'.

[Sigh] I'm more worried about the girls. They've been looking at me strangely---I know what it means, but I suppose I'm just not accustomed to it.

Do Goliath and Kang have the leaves too, then? [Jamie's fairly sure that Billy can at least identify there being different colored blobs being there, considering he's able to at least figure out what Jamie's doing. And since there's no need to avert his eyes, he stops and lets the leaf float down to the ground.]

I'd not worry about the girls taking a look, although I bet one of them was Kaylee. I think that she probably took the chance to take a wee peek at all of us. Besides, there's not too much more visible than if ye were wearing those real wee bathing suits.

[Nod.] Affirmative. Kang was rather irritated with his.

[He wrinkles his nose] A Speedo? I see your point, but I never wore one of those. And Kaylee was one of them, yes. She seemed quite happy to have the opportunity. [And he's blushing]

[Ruffles hia hair and sighs] It's just so new to me. My previous brief engagements with dating were all based on mutual intellectual interests. What I looked like was never an issue. Now it is---and I feel flattered when the girls tell me I look good naked, of course, but something still doesn't feel right. What could I be afraid of?

[Nod.] Affirmative. Kang was rather irritated with his.

[He wrinkles his nose] A Speedo? I see your point, but I never wore one of those. And Kaylee was one of them, yes. She seemed quite happy to have the opportunity. [And he's blushing]

[Ruffles hia hair and sighs] It's just so new to me. My previous brief engagements with dating were all based on mutual intellectual interests. What I looked like was never an issue. Now it is---and I feel flattered when the girls tell me I look good naked, of course, but something still doesn't feel right. What could I be afraid of?

You're asking me? I don't even know what this dating thing is that ye are talking about.

It...uh...doesn't anything to do with the fruit, does it? Because that sounds a wee bit odd.

[Headshake]

No, but now that you mention it I'm starting to feel hungry.

It's my culture's term for courtship---that is, engaging in a romantic relationship with someone, possibly in the hopes of forging a permanent bond such as a marriage.

One of the first rituals people participate in on 'the dating scene' is checking people out, as most of us are doing to each other right now. The conversation component is important too, but snap judgments about physical appearance are the first ones made.

Oh! Courting. Aye, of course.

[Jamie knows what that is - it was just the term that threw him for a moment.]

Maybe ye are worried that if girls find ye attractive, ye would have to do that dating thing, and ye are worried about how that would go?

That could be it. All of those girls are spoken for, but that didn't stop Katara from tickling me into submission.

[Shy grin. No, it's not as dirty as it sounds.]

If what Goliath says about the joy of love is accurate, then I would be happy, but it would certainly be a big adjustment.

[Curious glance]

How was everyone treating you?

[eyebrow arch] I've not been tickled, at least.

[He shrugs, then.] About the same. People would look. Kaylee looked.

[There's a bit of a sly look off of that. Jamie may have very well decided to look back. It's brief, though, as his curiosity about something else takes over.]

What did Goliath say about the...joy of love, ye said?

Then I'd recommend avoiding it if you can. It was so intense that I could hardly speak at all, and my undignified rolling and squirming around naked will forever haunt me. [Not that it was the worst thing to happen to him, but it was embarrassing to think about how he must've looked. What if someone had had a camera?]

[Deep breath] He said that love is...one of the most cherished experiences in the universe. To have a mate and comfort and protect each other gives life new meaning.

[Faint blush. He couldn't help but wonder if that would be him someday.]

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