NAKED MEME

[killsfengshui.livejournal.com]

Suddenly.

You are naked.

All of you. Even you, over there, the already naked guy.

Except for one thing.

You all have fig leaves over your privates. They cannot be removed or destroyed. They are large enough to cover everything. (They might itch a little)

Oh, and even already naked people with no visible privates will have the leaves, either over their naughty bits' actual locations, or just where they should be.

Comments

[staturity]

[Psh. Billy, your scars are as nothing in comparison to the tiny sliver on Cassie, for she is a teen girl with self esteem problems. Scars on anyone else are sexy/to be proud of. Scars on her? Disfiguring!]

Can't see?

[morphitudinous]

Negative. Whatever removed our clothing also removed my glasses, and my myopia is severe enough to prevent me from seeing more than colored blobs in vaguely memorable shapes.

[Which means he can't even enjoy the view and perv on people. Not that he would.]

[staturity]

Oh! Oh right, of course. I forgot. I really don't see anything. I don't know who could have done this unless it's GLaDoS or our evil players.

[(Anonymous)]

Wouldn't GLaDOS normally taunt us?

[Frowns and crosses his arms defensively.] None of this makes sense. I'd rather not 'wait and see', but that may be our only option.

...crud. Sorry!

[morphitudinous]

[Continuing to be embarrassed over here. And NOT LOOK.]

No prob

[staturity]

Probably but I can't think of anyone else who could have done it.

[morphitudinous]

Whoever did, I'm very unhappy with them right now.

[He tries to squint around.]

Is there somewhere you can lie low for a while? I know it can't be comfortable.

[staturity]

Well, I could try shrinking but I don't know if these fig leaves will shrink with me. [Pause.] I bet whoever did this is laughing so hard right now.

[morphitudinous]

Assuming that they can laugh---which is admittedly a fair assumption.

[Thinkthinkthink, Billy. There's gotta be something.]

These leaves seem fairly durable. They completely resist pulling, tearing, cutting, dissolving in acid, wilting, eating, and blowing. I've heard a string of curses from the others testing them---I'd prefer not to remove mine.

[Blush. He pushes on his temple, as if forgetting that his glasses are gone.]

The source of my powers is gone, but I doubt they would work even if they were available.

[staturity]

Uh, well look away for a bit. I'll test it out.

[morphitudinous]

Got it. I hope it works. [He turns obediently, shielding his eyes as well.]

[staturity]

[Shrinks.] ...Huh, that's weird. They're staying the same size.

[morphitudinous]

[Still turned]

So you could shrink and the entire leaf would fall on top of you? How unusual.

[Small noise of frustration.]

[staturity]

[Oops I meant in proportion but this works too and is perhaps funnier.]

Yeah. But they're still stuck on. Maybe if I went around at 3 feet...

[morphitudinous]

[Sorry! Comprehension fail. :(]

That may work. Increasing the ratio of covered skin by decreasing the amount to cover.

[Small smile] Now I'm envious. I wish I could cover up somehow.

[He'll just plant his posterior on this tall rock and add to the leaf's cover with his hands.]

[staturity]

[Nah, that was my bad.]

Well let's see. [Stops at three feet. Only to find that the leafs then revert back to being proportionate.] Oh come on!

[morphitudinous]

[Frowns sympathetically.]

I wonder if your leaves were treated like your uniform, or if it's a different technology at work.

None of the data is presenting a clear pattern. [Argh. He just wants to hide under a blanket somewhere.]

[staturity]

Well my uniform actually changes with me instead of a delay but... maybe. [Grows back to normal since she might as well.]

[morphitudinous]

Then it's likely a different method of adaptation.

[He keeps thinking.] Even if you can't adjust the size of your leaves, maybe you can shrink to a size that renders you invisible for all practical purposes?

[staturity]

I could but I'd rather not get stepped on.

[morphitudinous]

[Rats. He scoots back and pulls his knees up to his chest---it's about all he can think to do for himself.]

I'd suggest 'so large that we could only see your foot, but I don't think we have the space.