NAKED MEME

[killsfengshui.livejournal.com]

Suddenly.

You are naked.

All of you. Even you, over there, the already naked guy.

Except for one thing.

You all have fig leaves over your privates. They cannot be removed or destroyed. They are large enough to cover everything. (They might itch a little)

Oh, and even already naked people with no visible privates will have the leaves, either over their naughty bits' actual locations, or just where they should be.

Comments

[morphitudinous]

Clothing and sunscreen, neither of which I have access to. For the moment I'm trying to stay in the shade, where the sun's rays are somewhat obstructed.

[That gets a hair-ruffle. Thanks for worrying, buddy.]

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

::Squeak. You get a poke in return. But don't look now; there's that "I'm gonna solve something" look::

What is it, that cre-ates Disharmony to thee, from Warmth?

[morphitudinous]

Just my body's makeup, I suppose. If I had too much melanin, I would overheat in my climate. Darker colors absorb more of the sun, which is why we usually don't recommend wearing black clothing in the summer.

[Honestly, though, he'd be happy to have any clothes at the moment. Even in black.]

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

One not wish thee, pain. For now, how-ev-er...Clo-thing, seems be-yond reach.

::Chirp. He's got that look on his face still. Bee wants a set of clothes? Imp's already attempting to figure out how to arrange that::

[morphitudinous]

Unfortunately, I believe you're right. But I'll survive somehow.

[He curls up closer to the tree, somewhat comforted to have a shelter nearby. Not too close, though, as the bark is rough on skin.]

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Eeee.

::Chirp. He's crawling and sniffing about again. Not too far though, and he's...gathering up every soft leaf he can find.::

[morphitudinous]

[Squints. Huh. Renne has...are those things in his paw green?]

Are you making a leaf collage? We don't have a book.

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Eee, noh.

::Squeakchirp. Some of these are decently sizeable but given they're all still green and supple, he's careful with them. The ones he has now? He's trying to put them all over you, Billy, one by one::

[morphitudinous]

No? Then what...

[Renne is...decorating his body with the leaves. Is this an art project? Is someone hiding behind a bush with a camera? Eventually, he thinks back on his thoughts of the last few minutes and realizes that the imp is trying to clothe him. Which draws a laugh.]

Thanks, but you don't need to do this. I'm all right.

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Eee. Bee wahn-t, Rrrr-enne trrry ge-t.

::Chirp. Any opportunity to spoil you, Billy, can and will be taken. Shamelessly::

[morphitudinous]

[Hair-ruffle]

And I honestly appreciate that. But how is this going to work? I don't think these leaves will stick to me like the other one.

[That, and it kinda tickles.]

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

::Hair-ruffle back. Then an ear-flop::

Eee...May-bee, Rrrr-enne ma-ke drrress.

::Mind you, gender-specific clothing is not something that's entered his head yet::

[morphitudinous]

[Think.]

If you're going to do that, you should offer it to one of the girls. I think they'd really appreciate it.

[Answering the inevitable questions about that will get awkward, of course.]

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Eee? Bu-t...Eee?

::Yep, he's confused. See?::

[morphitudinous]

They have...more of their body that they consider necessary to cover. It's a cultural standard as unexplainable as the last one I tried to explain.

[Headscratch.]

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Eee. Tha-t be strrrayn-ge. Wha-t do Male go-t, if noh go-t drrrress?

[morphitudinous]

Shorts or trousers, usually. Others, like Jamie, wear kilts. It's not considered necessary for men to cover their chests, but women are usually required to.

[Yup, human rules are weird.]

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Why? Wha-t Fee-male go-t? Wha-t be Kill-t? Is noh drrrress?

::Squeak::

[morphitudinous]

[Blush.]

Female breasts carry milk to nurse their young. Humans look for females with healthy-looking breasts because they subconsciously believe that if they mate with that person, their child will be well nourished. Because they've become part of the equation for mating, they're considered sexual areas and must be covered.

And a kilt is similar to a dress that only covers the area below the waist. They're part of the traditional attire in Scotland, where Jamie comes from.

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Eee? Why Male noh got? Do Male noh hell-p?

::Chirp. Hello, Billy! Welcome to Curious Critters Anonymous::

So killlt be drrrress?

[morphitudinous]

Males help, but they gather food from the outside environment. Women can gather outside food as well, but as they're the ones who hold the baby while it develops, their bodies are configured to release milk once the baby is born.

[He'll never stop being red-faced now. He hopes no women are listening.] I suppose you can classify it that way, but don't call it a dress to Jamie. He probably won't like it.

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Why? If it wearrr li-ke drrress, it be drrrress?

::Squeak. He honestly has zero idea what's so embarrassing::

Oooh. Fee-male do carrry? Wha-t do Male do?

[morphitudinous]

Care for her while she carries, and they raise the child together after it's born. [Ideally, anyway.]

Just...please call Jamie's clothing a kilt. He'll appreciate it.

[bluebrassmonkey.livejournal.com]

Oooh. Rrrr-enne do tha-t. Eee. Rrrr-enne make fohrrr Bee, pants.

::Chitter. He's not sure how he's going to do that just yet but he'll figure it out::

[morphitudinous]

No, you can relax. This situation will probably be resolved soon.

[He very carefully leans back against the tree, resigned to his fate of being naked for the next while.]