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[thinky think think]

...

Is that why you're such a bitch?

>[*WHAP!*]
>[Yeah, pretty much.]
>[Say something cutting.]
>[*WHAP!* but with more feeling this time.]

>[*WHAP!*]

[See above]

OW!

>[Dammit I felt that too!]
>[What made you think you could get away with that?!]
>[Some combination of A and B]
>[Apologize.]

>[Dammit I felt that too!]

Ow, dammit! Don't make me do that again; I felt that!

Then just don't do it again, period! Is it really that hard?!

>[Don't give me a reason to!]
>[It hurts you more than it hurts me.]
>[Insult him.]
>[Try to get him to stop spazzing out.]

>[Try to get him to stop spazzing out.]

Okay, fine. Don't act like an ass and I won't hit you.

Now calm down. Keeping track of this vitals crap is annoying.

Wait, keeping track of this... what?

>[You don't know what vitals are?]
>[Forget it.]
>[Yeah, they're going nuts.]
>[Take a fourth option.]

>[You don't know what vitals are?]

...Don't tell me you don't know what vitals are.

...Yes I do.

>[Oh really?]
>[Explain anyway and preempt him embarrassing himself.]
>[Continue as if this is an acceptable response.]
>[Find his ignorance attractive.]

>[Oh really?]

Okay, smart guy, then tell me what they are.

[Quiet for a minute or two...]

Well, they're vital, obviously.

>[Silence.]
>[See? I knew you didn't.]
>[And anything else...?]
>[You're kind of cute when you're making up bullshit.]

>[And anything else...?]

...And...?

...
...
[he's really scraping the bottom of the barrel here]

And there's... more than one of them?

>[Face. Palm.]
>[Put this argument out of its misery and fill him in.]
>[Ding ding ding, somebody tell the man what he's won.]
>[Laugh.]

>[Put this argument out of its misery and fill him in.]

[sigh]

It's your life signs, Grif. Heart rate, what's hurt, that kind of thing.

Why are you even looking at that?

>[Because it's kind of hard to ignore.]
>[Because I want to creep you out.]
>[I don't have to tell you.]
>[I'm secretly Edward Cullen.]

>[Because it's kind of hard to ignore.]

It's kind of hard to ignore. Vitals are one of those things AIs are supposed to watch.

Okay can you really get out of there now?

>[What's the sudden urgency?]
>[Hey, your heartrate spiked!]
>[Use this new found ability as a lie detector.]
>[No. :)]

>[Hey, your heartrate spiked!]

Woah! Hey, why the heartrate spike?

Why? Because you're in my head! I thought we went over this! [flail]

>[Dude, calm down!]
>[Fine, I don't want to be in your head anyway!]
>[Do you think my answer changed within the last two minutes?]
>[Would this be a bad time to tell you I can kind of feel you too?]

>[Would this be a bad time to tell you I can kind of feel you too?]

Jesus, Grif, calm down. Besides, I can kind of feel you flailing around and it's weird.

...

You what?

>[You heard me.]
>[Oh jeeze how did he misinterpret that?]
>[It's not like I want to!]
>[It's kind of hot.]

>[You heard me.]

You heard me. I can feel a little with the armor, and so I can feel you acting like an idiot.

Wonderful. You're hugging me. Now please get out.

>[I am not hugging you.]
>[You're awfully freaked out by this. O.o]
>[Nice conclusion, why'd you jump to that one?]
>[Take a fourth option.]

>[I am not hugging you.]

It's not hugging. It's just the armor sitting on top on you. Kinda hard to avoid when you're wearing it.

... [A thought! He smirks]

I just had the best idea in the whole world.

>[You what?]
>[I'll believe it when I see it.]
>[I've got a bad feeling about this.]
>[I have a better one.]