insertmeathere | (no subject)

Well what's in my head? [He's curious now.]

>[Tell him.]
>[Make it up.]
>[Change the subject.]
>[Be insulting.]

>[Tell him.]

It looks like Blood Gulch.

...No seriously.

>[No seriously, it does.]
>[You're right, it's actually a gay bar.]
>[Ask about what the deal is with him and Blood Gulch.]
>[Reminisce about good things that happened in the canyon. Like him getting hit by the tank.]

>[No seriously, it does.]

That's what it looks like. Red base, Blue base, that empty field area, team-killing fucktard ridge...

No tanks, right?

>[Right.]
>[Wrong.]
>[Why?]
>[Maaaaaybe.]

>[Maaaaaybe.]

Not sure. I have't seen a head-Sheila yet.

[He sighs.] Please get out of my head.

>[No, I'm not done yet.]
>[Why?]
>[Sure.]
>[Take a fourth option.]

>[Why?]

Why? I'm not doing anything.

It's my head! It's private in there!

>[Oh come on, what do you have to hide?]
>[Oh, so there IS something in here I can find.]
>[You're funny when you flail, you know.]
>[Mess around with armor systems.]

>[Oh come on, what do you have to hide?]

C'mon, what's in here what's so important? What're hiding, huh?

I don't have to tell you! Which is exactly why you need to get out.

>[Make me.]
>[Press the issue.]
>[Go looking for it yourself.]
>[Get a better idea.]

>[Press the issue.]

Now you're just making me even more curious.

Don't you have private thoughts too? Or do bitchy computer people not get those.

>[Point out the differences between a computer and an AI.]
>[Tell him it's none of his business.]
>[Admit you have secret thoughts too.]
>[Have a heart to heart about it.]

>[Admit you have secret thoughts too.]

I used to. Then I got O'Malley and got used to no privacy pretty quickly.

[thinky think think]

...

Is that why you're such a bitch?

>[*WHAP!*]
>[Yeah, pretty much.]
>[Say something cutting.]
>[*WHAP!* but with more feeling this time.]

>[*WHAP!*]

[See above]

OW!

>[Dammit I felt that too!]
>[What made you think you could get away with that?!]
>[Some combination of A and B]
>[Apologize.]

>[Dammit I felt that too!]

Ow, dammit! Don't make me do that again; I felt that!

Then just don't do it again, period! Is it really that hard?!

>[Don't give me a reason to!]
>[It hurts you more than it hurts me.]
>[Insult him.]
>[Try to get him to stop spazzing out.]

>[Try to get him to stop spazzing out.]

Okay, fine. Don't act like an ass and I won't hit you.

Now calm down. Keeping track of this vitals crap is annoying.

Wait, keeping track of this... what?

>[You don't know what vitals are?]
>[Forget it.]
>[Yeah, they're going nuts.]
>[Take a fourth option.]

>[You don't know what vitals are?]

...Don't tell me you don't know what vitals are.

...Yes I do.

>[Oh really?]
>[Explain anyway and preempt him embarrassing himself.]
>[Continue as if this is an acceptable response.]
>[Find his ignorance attractive.]

>[Oh really?]

Okay, smart guy, then tell me what they are.

[Quiet for a minute or two...]

Well, they're vital, obviously.

>[Silence.]
>[See? I knew you didn't.]
>[And anything else...?]
>[You're kind of cute when you're making up bullshit.]