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NAKED MEME

Suddenly.

You are naked.

All of you. Even you, over there, the already naked guy.

Except for one thing.

You all have fig leaves over your privates. They cannot be removed or destroyed. They are large enough to cover everything. (They might itch a little)

Oh, and even already naked people with no visible privates will have the leaves, either over their naughty bits' actual locations, or just where they should be.

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Hm? [He pulls at her leaves, and then at his own.] Oh, come on!

You have got to be kidding me!

What the hell. [Tries to shrink them off. No good.] Damn it! This is worse than Stacy spraying us with water... possibly.

[This is so messed up he right about to get some and.... wait...]

Who is Stacy?

Stacy the meatship. You know, the time we were about to have sex in the sensoriums and then she sprayed us with water. What, did I really snog your brains out?

[Blink]

[Blinkblink]

...what are you talking about?

[Meatship whut? Sensorium whut?]

Did I snog your brains out?

[He even places a hand against her forehead to check]

What? No! Why would-

...Oh crap, did you just podpop? Oh my God and I thought this couldn't get more complicated.

Podpop?

Cassie... [What is this I don't even]

Look, I know you're not happy that I'm working for HAMMER, but as soon as we get out of here I'm taking you to them so you can get checked out by their docs. Something is wrong here...

You know. Waking up covered in goo, having this voice in your head tell you that you've been chosen for a great purpose. Finding out your universe was destroyed by the Ohm and that you and your friends and family and some other famous people are the only ones to make it out alive.

...What's HAMMER?

[Cue worried/sadface]

...the universe wasn't destroyed, it was merged with another one. And we didn't fight over me being overprotective.

HAMMER... they're the agency that took over when SHIELD fell apart. I work for them now.

We need to get you to them.

Whoa O.K., this is a big misunderstanding here. We're from different universes. I guess maybe your universe wasn't destroyed then and- O.K., I have no idea how you're here- but uh. Wow. O.K., I know I must sound pretty crazy but trust me I'm not. Although, I kinda wish I were considering my whole universe wouldn't be gone. There are a lot of people from different universes and different times here and Stacy rescued a version of you and that's the you I had a fight with where he was being overprotective. Uhm...

Wow, this is really awkward.

Cassie, I know about alternate universes and what not, but you're not making any sense.

We need to get you out of here.

I know you know about alternate universes I'm just trying to- O.K., seriously. I was kidnapped by a sentient spaceship sent by a race of aliens called the Daligig who are, presumably, trying to save people from universes attacked by the Ohm. These people are then sedated and placed into these slimy pods and Stacy has a habit of releasing them randomly, hence the podpopped term. I woke up maybe... six months ago? I-

Wait- if you're in the same time as the alternate me, do you know if my dad is alive?

[Even deeper frown]

Your Dad died before we ever met.

...what do you remember about us, or about anything, before this "ship" took you?

[Sigh] Yeah, didn't think so.

Before this ship too me? Uh, the cliff notes version. You traveled to my time to try and stop from becoming Kang. You started the Young Avengers. I went to try and join. Kang showed up. We fought him and he got sucked into a time portal. We kissed. Kang came back and you killed him. That wrecked the timeline and you had to go back to your time to become Kang.

Okay, so far we're on the same page... do you remember the Civil War? The Skrull Invasion? The Cataclysm?

Civil War yes, Skrull invasion no. But Kate did tell me about it. The Cataclysm is news to me.

The Cataclysm was the event when the worlds merged. Heroes from both planets tried to stop it, and failed... you all ended up drifting in the planks between time for about a year and half before some of you finally stared returning.

You made it back sometime before I arrived... you never said anything about a meatship or Ohm or anything of that. [of course, their arguing kind of took over their discussion]

...Yeah, that didn't happen for me. Maybe the Cataclysm was caused by the Ohm and somehow that world was able to stop it from being destroyed and it just combined instead. [Pause] But how did you come back? I thought, well, you couldn't come back unless you were Kang.

I don't know. The best I can figure is that when the Cataclysm happened, the shockwave knocked me out of time and I landed in the new merged earth shortly after you did.

...you really don't remember any of it?

I really don't. I told you, I must be from a different universe. I know it sounds crazy but it's the truth. Now if the Nate I knew showed up I could prove it.

But... there has to be some other explanation. I mean, we're in this place and stuck wearing leaves! And the way you kissed me...

[You can't just make out with a guy like that, then suddenly declare he isn't your boyfriend]

O.K., I honestly have no idea how you got here or where or clothes are or- why the hell we're stuck wearing these things.

As for how I kissed you uh, well, I thought you were the Nate I knew on the ship. We're kind of uhm... [Does it count on cheating if it's an alternate? Cause if so she should really stop checking Nate out.]

There is no other me, not anymore. No Kang, no Immortus, no Jonas, nothing... just me, and only me. [...Right?]

And I've never been on a ship. We...

[No Jonas- O.K., well, alternate universe. Something must have happened.] And here you said you knew about alternate universes. I know it's a lot to take in. Hell, I don't know if this is just a very real, very weird dream.

Does this feel like a dream? [He kissed her, again because he needed to believe that she felt that way about him, and no one else.]

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staturity - 2010-07-04 07:34 (UTC) - Expand

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